My Real World Friends

And those whom I hate

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."
(Oscar Wilde)

What an interesting year. It's amazing how fortunes and friendships change. Time for an update. You'll see some new faces, and some old ones in new places.

First, some of the charming ones...

The Inner Circle



• Boon: Otherwise known as Jonathan Colhoun, or DareDevil, works far too much, and gets far too much money for his trouble. He hates RPGing now, and has taken up liking football instead. Yes. That's what I thought. Although I see less of him these days, he's still a good mate.
• Rick: Rick, or Rickster, is an Angel on a mission to help the poor and misguided on this earth. He does so by being inane and having a chirpy attitude that has brought him close to death on more than one occassion. He works for God. Really. He looks like Fox Mulder (again, really). What a bastard, eh ? He is studying Evil for his PhD. Really.
• John: Otherwise known as John, we met in the school orchestra, and travelled the world bringing music and joy to dozens. Possibly. He is tall, thin and goodlooking. Bastard. He drives a fast car, and leads a life of woman, drugs and Boys Brigade. He's neat, and he's got reasonable taste in music, except for the fact he keeps losing his CD's... He works for the Government as well, now, which is a bit scary.
• Tony: He's an old friend from University who has, inexplicably, decided that sharing a house with me is not as bad as brain surgery. Dry, and with a sharp wit and deviant mind, I'm proud to call him a friend.
• Ewan: Originally a mate of Colins, who used to live with us, knows him from Bangor. He's class, and although he has some dumb-ass friends, I suppose Tony and I are no better... He lives in the same house as us.
• Colin: Used to live with me and Tony for a month or two until he went to live with his girlfriend. I don't think we'll ever see him again. Shame.
• Barry: I met him through the above two maniacs, and he's cool. He's moved house, and still lives with Mousey, who I'll probably never see again either.
• Helen: Is now far away on the other side of Belfast (well, twenty minutes walk) and is living with Terry, her boyfriend. She's enthusiastic, and is doing her best to stay in touch.
• Joanne: Who I now see a bit more of these days. A friend of an ex-girlfriend, I've know her for a long time. She used to go out with Tony. Joanne is mad about F1 racing. Whatever.
• Max: Who has vanished. Max (or Maxine) used to go out with Tony as well, and is kinda neat, but has recently gone AWOL. Shame. So many we'll never see again. This damn war...
• Ex-Helen: I went out with this Helen for over three years, and she remains the only SO that I still talk to. Nice.
• Aishling: She got me into the Internet, and it's all her fault. She's Enya's cousin, and although I don't see her much these days, she's a good friend.
• Zahida: A deep feeling of sorrow and regret are linked to her name, for all time. She's bloody great, and I didn't deserve her company. So there. Luckily, I won't run into too many more girls with her name, so I'll be spared a bit of pain.
• And that's that: At least so far. The list will grow, as I meet more people that I refrain from killing shortly afterwards.

---

I would include a picture of my friends, except I don't know how, and I don't have any. There you go.

Without wanting to sound soppy, my friends are the best thing in my life, right now, apart from the power to destroy buildings, which was granted to me in another dimensions by.......


If you want to see some more Friends try here.

---

I bet you thought I wasn't going to include some of the tedious people I know. Well, here they come....

Everyone who screwed me over at PC WORLD- You know who you are.

Those shites who sit behind me in cinema's and TALK !- I'll insert those crisps where the sun don't shine...

McDonald's assistants who are stupid- Why bother ? And why charge me for sauce one day and not the next ?

'Christians' who give sane Christians a bad name- You silly bastards. You make the rest of us look like total assholes...

Timothy, a russian- He came into our lives, briefly, and left again after annoying every single person who met him. Whilst I don't actually hate Timothy, I was sure wrong about him. I thought he was smart and fairly together, instead of the pompous, self-righteous idiot he turned out to be. You can spot Tim by the huge, garish Ankh he insists upon wearing. Wanker.

Gray, a bastard- Actually, like Tim, he used to live in The House, but he fucked me off in a very very very uncool way, and now lives somewhere else. I don't mean to be confrontational about the whole thing, but he's a cunt. Even now, a year after the event, my opinion hasn't changed. Wanker.

Gary- Yes, the same 'mate' of Tony's who used to be on the Charming List. Since he went mad and decided that Colin and Tony were the Devil, he's moved into a whole new area of scorn.

PLEASE NOTE How "Gary" and "Gray" are anagrams. Coincidence ? Yes.

Ewan's Ex-Housemates- My motto is "The Enemy of my Friend is My Enemy", so Ewan's ex-housemates, especially the Nic / Nik variant, live here.

Paul and Cathy- Who I don't hate, but I feel bad for the way they treated Tony. So there. They are included here for completion's sake only.

Anyone else who makes me mad- I've forgotten you tonight, but don't think I won't remember

Go back to Nearside's Home Page